He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
