I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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