Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
