my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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