i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm both gender and math confused
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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