i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize