i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
