Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
