he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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