I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
