if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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