I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
