Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
