Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
only you would photoshop your dick
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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