if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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