Say something about gay babies.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
