question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
