In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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