Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
