I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Duck Duck Cougar?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i out mim tonsoeep
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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