We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
