Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
