why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
