you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
