I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
