Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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