This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
