dude i'm inner monologue high
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
