ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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