you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
