You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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