let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
