I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize