i permit you to call me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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