ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
