I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
