rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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