He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
