We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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