So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
