Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize