Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
