it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
