Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
