Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
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In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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