playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i think i have herpe
just one?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
