i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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