So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just pee around me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
