I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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