she woke up with a sticky ear
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
