ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
