I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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