We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I forget how to act sober
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