did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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