i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
