Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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