I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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