I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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