Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
