hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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