Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
